Amnesia
by intheskywithdiamonds
Summary: Her body certainly will be there, but her mind, her personality might be gone… “Is there a possibility she might never remember anything?” I asked interrupting the doctor. “It’s amnesia, there’s a possibility yes” he answered.
1. Chapter 1

The night was cold, and I knew better than many people that feeling. It was the second time I lost her, but I knew I never got her back. She left me long before we got on that majestic ship of drowned dreams. I couldn't let her go though, because I used to be happy, and she used to be with me.

"Sir, are you Mr. Hockley?" asked a young doctor.

I looked at him, and stood up. I took a deep breath, and smile while I passed a hand through my hair.

"Yes, I am"

"Good, I would like to talk to you about the condition of your friend" he said at the same time he sat at the chair beside mine. I sat down too, nervous.

"She has a very rare, extremely rare, condition. You see, she suffers of Dissociative Fugue"

"I… Don't understand you"

"It's a type of amnesia, usually it's not temporary. The cause if psychological trauma, though she's healthy physically" said the doctor.

He continued talking but I couldn't pay attention to him. Amnesia. It broke my heart. What if Rose wasn't there anymore? Her body certainly will be there, but her mind, her personality might be gone…

"It's there a possibility she might never remember anything?" I asked interrupting the doctor.

"It's amnesia, there's a possibility yes"

It felt like if my world was falling apart. I did love her, in my own way. I never knew how to express it properly, the way she wanted anyway. I could give her presents and gifts and she smiled and look with her fearless eyes for something more, something from me. I could never give her what she wanted. It was the way my family ever expressed love, by buying things. I thought by doing this she would understand, but she didn't. Never did. I knew she didn't belong in the world she was force to live in, she wanted so much more. She didn't have freedom, and I didn't as well. I was supposed to be a serious man, a powerful worker who always had things go his way. I could never be truly that man with Rose, maybe because when I was with her I was my true self. Now, she didn't remember all the things we went through. Maybe that was a good thing, we could meet each other again without our history on our backs. She doesn't remember the horrible man I became, and all the things I did to her. She wouldn't know who Jack Dawson was. Titanic was gone, I just wished it was gone from my mind too.

"Can I see her?" I asked.

"Of course"

"Rose!"

I yelled running towards her. She looked at me with a confuse look in her face. She looked desperate and holding back tears. She started running away from me. I thought she was dead, and now I was seeing her alive and lost. Two weeks had passed since the sinking, two weeks thinking I was never going to see her again and now she was so near me.

"Rose wait" I said running behind her pushing some people along the way.

To my surprise she fainted. She looked pail; she was certainly still affected from the icy water. People stared, but no one really cared. I didn't know what to do, so I just followed my instincts and decided to take her to the nearest hospital myself. So I carried her.

"She fainted, she was running… She's unconscious" I remember saying to the nurse.

I was surprised by how incoherent my words sounded, but the words wouldn't go out of my mouth with sense I was terrified. They took her away from me, and the nurse told me to seat down.

"Where did you find her?" she asked.

"A few streets away, but she's my…"

I couldn't say it, she wasn't my fiancée anymore, she never wanted it. Rose was his, even if I didn't like it, I knew it. I knew her.

"My friend… Her name is Rose, Rose Dawson"

"Ok, I need you to fill some papers. Should we call someone in her family?"

"She might have something wrong with her lungs… We were on the Titanic, she might be very ill," I said ignoring her question.

"Sir, relax, she's here now and we're going to make sure she gets better," said the nurse giving me a small smile.

I couldn't smile back.


	2. Who am I?

"Right this way sir" said the nurse allowing Cal to enter the room.

He walked slowly, as if each footstep he moved was more frightening than the last. The nurse grabs him from his arm, afraid he might faint.

"Would you like a doctor checking you? You look sick"

"I know I'm sick," said Cal without looking at her. Of course he was sick, the Titanic sank just a few weeks ago.

The nurse showed him the room where Rose was, and smiling left saying something about the lack of nurses and a lot of work. Cal didn't listen to her; he had too many things in his head. He finally was in front of the room, his hand went through his hair, something he did when he was nervous or mad. He opened the door and found a pallid Rose resting in a small hospital bed.

"A nurse told me you know me" she said in a low voice. She looked as if she could break in any minute.

Cal found a chair near the bed and sat there. He was silent for a moment, and then looked at her and smiled.

"Yes, I think I know you very well, though that fact used to make you angry" he said.

"Who am I?" she asked with her fearless green eyes. Cal felt his heart pump faster, he missed that look so much.

"You're Rose…" he started talking but she interrupted him "The nurse already told me my name, I'm not talking about that. Who am I?" she asked again.

"You're the most intelligent woman I ever met, and I'm not saying it as a compliment," Rose laughed "You love music, and going to the theater. You read a lot, and you love art more than anything else. My house is full of paintings because of you, and I don't like art" said Cal holding her hand.

Rose was nervous, and he didn't blame her. Rose's body stopped shaking after a few minutes.

"Where we very close?" she asked looking at their hands.

"We were close then… Well we had our problems"

Rose looked disappointed "I can't remember anything, it's like if… It feels like I can't think. I know nothing from my past; I can't imagine any type of future. I am a stranger to myself," she said starting to cry. Cal wanted to hold her in his arms but he couldn't forgive himself of what he did at Titanic.

"I can move you to a better hospital, or take you to my house. This hospital is not very good" started saying Cal, not knowing what to say.

"What? No! I don't want to move. Don't you get it? I'm scared, I don't know who I am, and I don't feel ready to go out to the world that I'm supposed to know," she said desperately.

"I'm sorry… Sure, I understand. Of course"

"Who are you exactly?"

"Me? I'm Caldeon Hockley"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, it means nothing. It's just a name"

"How did we met?" said Rose obviously full of questions.

"At a party of some common friends. You surprised me right from the beginning."

"I surprised you? What possibly could I have done that surprised you right from the beginning?" she asked with a hint of a smile.

"You were telling to a very respectable man that he knew nothing about art, and something about a surreal vision of the ordinary world… I don't remember exactly," said Cal laughing at that almost forgotten memory.

"You talk as if we were a couple" said Rose now much calmer, with her hands in her face feeling the tears seconds ago were falling from her eyes. Cal stayed quiet.

"Did I said something wrong?"

"No. You were… You were my fiancée, but you met someone else"

"Where is he now?" asked Rose and Cal even when he hated Jack and even Rose sometimes because of what happened in the ship couldn't find the courage to tell her.

"Only you know" he answered coldly.

"I… How? I don't understand you"

"I have to tell you about certain ship first for you to understand."


	3. Titanic?

Sorry but I reread the third chapter and I didn't like it. So I decided to write it again. Hope you like it.

"I have to tell you about a certain ship first for you to understand"

Cal waited for some kind of reaction from Rose, but he got none. In the back of his head he wished that if he mentioned Titanic Rose would remember everything. Rose looked confused.

"What ship?" she asked slowly, it was hard for her to listen to him.

"Titanic, or the ship of dreams, like some people liked to call it"

"Sounds a bit pretentious, don't you think?" asked Rose, Cal couldn't help but laugh.

"You thought it wasn't that big, actually. It was a dream, you know. Big, elegant, luxurious, it was just historic. The biggest ship ever" he said.

"You were there too," Rose said smiling in an innocent way.

"Of course I was there. We were coming back for our wedding"

Rose kept quiet. Was he really her fiancée? Not anymore she said to herself. She met someone else. Who? She breathed deeply, feeling anxiety running through all her body. What if she never got her memory back?

"Why are you here?" she asked, tears falling from her eyes.

"Excuse me?" he responded surprised.

"You heard me! Why are you here? We were a couple, we were going to get married, but at the same time you say I met someone else. Why are you here if I left you?"

"I came back for you an Titanic, knowing about the other man. Why wouldn't I come back for you now?" said Cal looking at her with a kind of arrogant attitude. Rose felt mad instantly and didn't know exactly why.

"Who was he?" she asked trying to sound polite.

Cal step up and walked furiously around the hospital bed. "I can't yell at her, not now, she needs someone" he said to himself "It's natural she wanted to know" he kept repeating in his head. After a few minutes he felt calm again, and sat down.

"He was a… Painter I guess. I honestly don't know much about him. He was very poor, but he spoke well and talked about it as if it was the best thing it happened to him. Rose, the only one who knew him and is still alive is you," he said.

Rose looked confuse but again, no reaction. Cal breathed in deeply trying to find the patience he really never had. He was impressed he didn't lie to her, he was being completely honest. He could, he thought, he could mess with her mind but she would end up hating him again and with good reasons.

"Still a live?" she asked repeating a few words Cal said before.

"Titanic sank"

Those words were almost meaningless to Rose, who didn't remember a thing about that ship. But at the same time hurt, she felt pain in her chest when she heard those words. Was that the reason she was so cold?

"I don't remember anything about it. Why?" she asked crying again "I want to remember something, anything."

Cal felt how his heart broke; it was painful seeing her like this. So he got near her and whispered in her ear slowly "You will, I promise." He took Rose's hand and kissed it. He felt a reaction from her.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

She remembered, it was a small almost blur memory. A young man kissing her hand and a rush of emotion feeling up her body and a few simple words "I saw that in nickelodeon once and I've always wanted to do it". Rose felt so anxious, that voice wasn't from the man that was in front of her. It was from someone else. It was him, the man she left Cal for.

"Hi Mrs. Dawson" said the doctor smiling. He just entered the room and neither Cal or Rose heard him.

"Doctor" said Cal standing up.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her.

"Good, I remembered something" she said excited.

"You did? That's great. A nurse is coming later, you need some rest" said the doctor looking at Cal.

"I was just leaving, I'll come back tomorrow" he said to Rose with the smallest hint of a smile.

"Thank you Cal" she said. Suddenly she did felt tired, her whole body felt heavier than before. She slowly closed her eyes and felt relief.

"Mr. Hockley, I really think you should come by tomorrow. Talking to Rose about her past is essential for her recovery" said the doctor walking Cal out the Room. Cal smiled and walked out of the hospital repeating himself the same words.

"But what if I don't want her to remember?"


	4. What song?

Thanks for reading!

Cal started walking and couldn't stop. There were so many things in his mind he had to move, he had to keep up moving. His life was messed up; he had a perfect life once. He did. All the emotions of that day caught up with him the second he walked out of the hospital.

"Oh my God" he said out loud. "What's happening to my life?"

He laughed "Great, now I'm talking to myself" he thought. Walk. If you stop you're going to have a break down. Keep walking. His body felt so heavy all of a sudden, he felt numb.

"I want to forget everything too," he told himself. "I don't want to be Caldeon Hockley anymore."

He hadn't talked much since Titanic, his father thought he was still in shock, but he wasn't. He felt more mature now and he felt empty. He stopped walking.

"I should've drown," he yelled. "I should be at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean!"

Some people stared, but he didn't care. Not anymore. An almost forgotten memory came to his mind.

"We can't Rose," he said in his usual annoyed tone of voice.

"Come on, please. It'll be just a few days," insisted Rose.

Cal breathed in deeply.

"Why on earth do you want to go?" he asked.

"It's a beautiful place Cal, you know it. I just think it would be a good idea to go to Santa Monica instead of Europe."

"Europe is so much beautiful, and anyway your mother and I already decided to go there. I already bought tickets for Titanic" he said not even looking at her.

"You and my mother? You and my mother!" yelled Rose in a very bad mood.

"Rose, behave you're not a little girl"

"If you don't like little girls you can always marry my mother" said Rose walking away from him.

"You're talking nonsense Rose. Look, we're going to Europe ok? After our wedding we could go to Santa Monica, if you still want to" he said smiling at her.

"Forget it," she said leaving him.

Everything would've been different if he just had listened what she told him. He should've done so many things he didn't. Now she didn't remember all the things she wanted for her life, she didn't remember all the places she wanted to visit. It was his fault. He stood up and walked until he found his Hotel.

The next day Cal almost decided not to visit Rose. It was just torture to see her in that condition. He was afraid she knew who he really was.

"I don't want her to remember me" he kept saying. At the end he decided to visit her, she needed him for real for the fist time in her life. So trying to block all his feeling from his head and his body he entered the hospital.

"Mr. Hockley, good morning" said Rose's nurse.

"Good morning" he said coldly.

"I have a question sir. You know the song Josephine in her flying machine?"

"Well, yes I do. Why?"

"Rose kept singing it last night. I just thought it might have some meaning" the nursed answered.

"I've never listened Rose singing that song before" he said confused.

"Oh ok, my mistake" said the nurse smiling.


	5. Remember?

Cal entered the hospital room trying to remember what could that song mean to Rose. She never sang it before, or at least I never heard her, he thought. With a feeling of curiosity he sat beside her and smiled.

"Good morning, Rose" he said politely.

"I remembered a few things" she answered without looking at him.

Cal felt his heart pumping faster and faster with anxiety. Did Rose remembered what he did on Titanic the night it sank?

"You did?" he asked nervously while his hand went through his hair.

"I remember you always do that with your hair" she said now looking at him, Cal felt literally pain in his heart. "We had a fight about it once" she said smiling.

Cal smiled too, another almost forgotten memory. It happened early on their relationship, Rose always spoke her mind so she always reminded him his annoying habits. Looking at the floor slowly the memories of that night came to him once again.

"Stop it" said Rose in a bad mood, they were on a new restaurant and she was mad at him for throwing her cigarettes away.

"Stop what?" he had asked not knowing what was she talking about.

"That! That annoying thing you do with your hair, you do it all the time"

"I don't always do it, and what's wrong if I do anyway?" he asked getting annoyed as well.

"I don't know, it's weird. If you keep doing that your hair is going to fall off and you'll be bold and you don't have a pretty head so I recommend you to stop" said Rose with a hint of a smile, she knew she was being childish and what she said didn't make sense, but it was entertaining to make fun of him once in a while. And it worked, at least that night.

That happened so long ago, and things had changed so much it felt almost like an illusion. Cal felt nostalgic all of a sudden.

"What else did you remember?" he asked changing the topic.

"I remembered a song, and it's weird because…" she stopped.

"Why?" asked Cal.

Rose laughed "I feel like I'm flying when I sing it"

"I never heard you singing that song before"

"He sang it to me" said Rose in a low voice "The man in Titanic, I remember his voice singing it. I can't remember his face, though."

Cal felt so jealous, and a part of his old self wanted to come out. He wanted to yell at her for remembering that, he wanted to… Slap her, like he did on Titanic. But he stopped those feelings, he promised himself he wouldn't do anything of what he did on that ship. He promised himself.

"Josephine in her flying machine, up she goes…" Rose started to sing.

"Rose, please don't sing it" said Cal trying to control his nerves.

"The doctor said it was a good idea, you know, because it might help me remember other things related to this. He also said I was progressing very fast" said Rose looking at her hands.

"Maybe it's better if you don't remember"

"Why would you say that?" she asked.

"He's probably dead, and anything you remember of Titanic is tragic and depressing. If I could, I would forget everything too" said Cal, knowing he said hurtful things but he couldn't stop it.

He could see Rose was mad at him, her facial expression told him very clearly that she didn't like what he told her. "Josephine in her flying machine up she goes…"

"Stop it Rose!"

"Josephine in her flying machine…" started singing louder Rose.

"Rose!" yelled Cal feeling all that anger he felt in Titanic towards her, and towards Jack. He lifted his hand, ready to slap her, but he couldn't. Not again, not anymore.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what happened to me. Sorry Rose" he said nervous, standing up and walking in circles inside the room.

"It's just that I never understood why you left me for him. He had nothing to offer, not even a house, nothing. He lived on the streets, for God's sake! I was offering you everything I had, and you rejected me every time. What did this man do that you admired so much? What did he said that I never did?" said Cal desperate. For the first time since the sinking he was expressing what he felt. He had hidden all this emotions for a long time now, and it felt like he couldn't stop them from coming out.

"I wish I could answer, but I can't" said Rose taking his hand.

Thanks for reading! I hope you like it )


	6. Believe me

Cal knew Rose couldn't give him the answer, but he needed to say what he felt. He never did that, he always hide his emotions, always ignore them; he never expressed his feelings through words, just by actions. He was tired of that.

"I know you can't" he answered giving her a sad smile.

"I guess we are a couple of lonely people, aren't we?" asked Rose smiling. Cal couldn't help but laugh.

"Yes we are a couple of lonely troubled people"

"Do I have a family? It's just, we've never talked about it" asked Rose curious.

"Oh darling, I don't know what to say. You do have a family, a mother, more specifically. You didn't have a very good relationship with her; you liked to do everything she told you not to do. You did everything you could not to be like her," he said still holding hands with her.

"That's why she hadn't visit me?" she asked.

"No, she doesn't know you're here. She thinks you're dead, just like you wished."

"What? I never wished that," said Rose surprised by the comment.

"Yes you did, darling. Or at least that's the only deduction I was able to make. You didn't use your name in the survivor list" Cal said feeling resentment against her, he couldn't help it.

"Was I that unhappy? I pretended I died to get away from her?" she asked with brokenhearted eyes.

"Well Rose, as I've told you before, only you know"

"But I don't! I don't know," yelled Rose crying, "I don't know anything. I can't believe I was so excited because I remembered a song and a stupid fight" she said covering her face with her hands.

"It's a start Rose" Cal whispered, Rose continued crying.

"I am a person with no memory, no family. I'm a person that pretended she was dead to run away from a life I don't know about. I wished I was on Titanic right now" said Rose closing her eyes.

She was facing the cold fearless water that was below her. Then, she heard it, his voice saying "Jack Dawson" and smiled. "Rose Dewitt Bukater" she answered saying a name she did not know "You'll have to write that down for me." A young blond man was standing in front of her, and she felt pain just by watching those blue eyes.

Cal saw her expression change, and he sat up straight to see if she said anything. She stayed quiet, though. Thinking. Her expression said confusion all written across her face.

"Rose?" he asked.

Rose's heart was pumping faster just by thinking of that blond man. It was him. He was the one that sang the Josephine song, he was the one that kissed her hand. It broke her heart. Was he really dead?

"Rose Dewitt Bukater?" she asked in a bad mood.

Cal looked shocked "You remembered? Yes, yes, you're name is Rose Dewitt Bukater" he said excited.

"My last name is not Dawson, it was he's. Jack Dawson"

Cal never knew that a simple name like Jack Dawson could hurt that much, specially coming from Rose's lips. Jack Dawson. That gutter rat, that poor insolent stupid Dawson, he thought. He secretly wished she would never remember him, that he would just be a blur image in her past.

"I think your going to give me that answer sooner than I thought" he said simply and coldly.

"But you said he was probably dead" she answered.

"I don't know anything about him. He wasn't in the survivor list, but then again, neither were you"

"I think I'm afraid to remember Cal"

"I don't blame you for that" said Cal now sitting beside her on the hospital bed. Rose hugged him.

"Maybe I shouldn't remember" she said hiding her face on his shoulder. Cal breathed deeply.

"It's always worth to remember, even if it hurts" he said remembering the first time he met Rose and the last time he spoke to her on Titanic.

"Believe me"

thanks for reading and for your reviews! 


	7. No?

"You know what might be a good idea?" she said trying to smile.

Cal looked at her, curiosity filling up his body.

"If you would take me out. You know, maybe I remember something if I walk through the city" she said looking at him with excitement.

How could he say no to her? He laughed; she gave him the look she did when she was younger. It was kind of childish and Rose later on became ashamed of it, but in secret Cal always liked it.

"Sure, we can do that. I'll ask the doctor to see what he thinks," he said getting up.

"You're leaving?" Rose asked.

"It's late, you better rest for tomorrow" said Cal leaving the hospital room without saying another word.

Cal woke up early and he felt nervous. He laughed at himself; he was supposed to be a mature fearless businessman. Either way, he decided to look the best possible as he always did when he had an important event. Going out with Rose was an event for him, because not long ago he thought she was dead and now she was a few blocks away from him. He liked being with her, but every day became harder for him because he knew that their amicable conversations wouldn't last long. Until she gets her memory back, he said to himself. The phone started ringing, he sighed and answered it.

"Yes?" he said.

"What are you still doing in New York?" said the very familiar voice of his father.

"Father, I told you I have something very important to do here," he answered.

"Son, I know Titanic was hard on you, but business is business" his father said in his usual emotionless tone.

"I can't leave, you just have to accept it"

"It's beginning to sound suspicious, nobody can explain why you refuse to come back"

"Father, I don't care what people are saying. I have more important things in my mind" Cal answered in a bad mood.

"I know what you are doing there. You know I always have an eye in everything. Rose is alive, I haven't told Ruth yet. If you want to keep things that way, I recommend you to leave that ungrateful woman behind and come back with some dignity" he listened his father said and after that he hang up leaving a worried Cal in New York.

He went to the hospital to pick up Rose, she found her smiling in the entrance.

"You look excited" he said while he got closer.

"I am, and so are you, I know" said Rose standing up from the chair she was sitting. She took Cal's arm and started walking.

"I brought a car…" Cal started saying.

"No, we're walking" said Rose while she looked everything around her.

"OK, if you want to walk, that's what we'll do" said Cal feeling a little embarrassed because he felt excited.

"I think we get along better now than before" he said laughing.

"I needed to get amnesia for us to become close" said Rose joking.

They continued walking for hours talking until their foot hurt. They ended up sitting in a bench in Central Park.

"So I did that?"

"Yes, you talked about that type of size with the builder of Titanic. I was in shock but you just said it as the most natural thing in the world" said Cal touching his stomach that already hurt from laughing too hard.

"He probably deserved it" said Rose blushing.

"Rose, I have to talk to you about something" said Cal remembering the conversation he had earlier with his father.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I have to go back"

"Back where?"

"Back home, and I know you're not in the best position for making any type of important desition but I have to ask you" said Cal looking at Rose's eyes.

"Ask me what?" said Rose a little offended and mad about the fact of Cal leaving.

"Would you come back with me?" he asked.

Rose was quiet for a minute, looking at him with lost eyes. Her face was emotionless and Cal couldn't read her in that moment. What was she thinking about? Was she remembering something?

"No" she said firmly in a cold tone of voice.


	8. Sorry

Cal honestly suspected the answer would be yes. He did, from the heart he hoped, the answer would've been yes. So hearing her say no to him, again, just like many times before, hurt. Damn, it hurt like hell. He felt as if his chest was choking him. God, he thought, why couldn't she just say yes?

"No?" it was the only word that was able to come out of his mouth.

"I can't go back, not now. I can't come back to something I know I ran away from. I don't know why I did it, but I was sure about my decision. I pretended I was dead, for God's sakes!" Rose answered standing up and walking a few steps.

"You're going to be alone," said Cal looking at her, imploring without words, without any expression, for her to change her mind.

She wouldn't, though. She was the same person he knew so well, she was stubborn and she made decisions firmly.

"I know, but… I made a decision. Do you think I could be able to be completely by myself?" Rose asked.

Cal breathed deeply. What could be answer? If he were the same man he was on Titanic, he would say no. No, she's a young respectable lady that doesn't know anything about life and true independence. She needed protection, and he could provide that to her. But he wasn't the same person he was on Titanic.

"You had never been alone in your life. Not one second, darling. But I think you're strong enough" he said against himself. He needed to be honest, she deserved it for everything he did in their past together.

"Thank you, I hope so" said Rose giving him a small smile.

"But you don't have to, Rose. You don't have to be alone, think about it al least" said Cal standing up and walking to her.

"You're leaving" she said with a livid tone.

"I'm asking you to come with me!" said Cal reacting in the same way.

"Why are you leaving?"

Cal looked at her, thinking if it was a good idea to tell her the conversation he had earlier with his father. It would pressure her the thought of all those problems. She had enough. But she deserved to know his reasons.

"Rose…" he started saying at the same time his hand passed through his hair "I had a conversation with my father this morning"

Rose looked at him, obviously not understanding the meaning of what he just said. She crossed her arms waiting for him to explain better.

"He knows you're alive, and he told me he would tell your mother the truth if I didn't come back home" said Cal feeling embarrassed for a weird reason, about his family, and how every single member of it was manipulative and always got what they wanted the easy way.

Rose sat down again in the bench looking confused. Her eyes didn't leave the floor for a few seconds, and her hands were in her knees tension visible in every single muscle of her body.

"I don't know what to do" she said finally, not looking at Cal.

He started walking to he bench again but the hand of Rose stopped him.

"You're father wouldn't tell my mother I'm alive if you go home?" she asked coldly.

"He just want me back for work, you know, business is business, as he constantly says. He doesn't care if Ruth knows the truth or not" said Cal standing in front of her but not daring to touch her.

"Did I love her?" she asked suddenly looking at him with expecting eyes.

"You were never really close to her, actually. Ruth is a cold woman and it was difficult for you to felt loved, I guess, from a woman that doesn't know how to show those feelings. You did love her, I know" said Cal seating besides her.

Cal felt Rose's head in his shoulder. He smiled, feeling nostalgic. Life had been hard for both of them, and somehow even when they hurt each other's feelings many times, they were sitting on a bench comforting each other.

"Cal" Rose said in a low voice.

"Yes?"

"Do I look like her?"

"Come with me and find out. She doesn't need to know you're there, maybe by looking at her you could remember something or…"

Rose felt a bloodcurdling sensation go through all her body. Then, she was back; she was back on the Titanic.

"They've got you trapped, Rose. And you're gonna die if you don't break free. Maybe not right away because you're strong but... sooner or later that fire that I love about you, Rose... that fire's gonna burn out..." she heard him say.

She closed her eyes trying to see more, to feel more, to feel him. His blue eyes where in front of her, confronting her, trying to see more.

"It's not up to you to save me, Jack," she said trying to sound strong. The truth was everything he said felt right.

This time she was able to see his face; he was not longer a blur of some incomplete memory. He was a complete image now, he was real now. Rose felt a literal pain in her heart.

"Rose? Are you ok?" she heard Cal asking.

"Sorry… I can't do this" Rose said feeling stronger just by the memory of Jack's face.

"What?"

"I have to do this. I have to try to live the life I wanted, I owe it to him"


	9. alive?

"Do you have a place to stay?" he asked.

After a few minutes in silence, Cal decided to talk. Sure, he was mad and disappointed with Rose, but he couldn't leave her in a unknown city without any money or any type of protection. It didn't matter how mad he was, he always came back for her, just as he did on Titanic.

"No" Rose answered in a whisper.

"How are you planning on survive here?" he asked annoyed.

"I don't know, I'll figure something out. I'm not a kid you know"

"It's just as if you were! You don't know how to take care of yourself, you have no money, no place to stay, you don't know anyone here, and above all, you have no memory!" Cal yelled.

Rose saw him with tears in her eyes, it was all true, not a single word was a lie. She knew she wasn't able to be alone in a life she didn't know, but she felt the urge, the need of doing it.

"Please help me Jack, with something, anything really. A memory maybe? Something that motivates me, because, right now the easiest thing I could do is to go back with Cal. So I'm asking for any sort of help," she prayed in her mind.

"Cal, you don't have to worry about me. I'm an adult. I don't want you to worry about me just because I was a person in your life, I don't like pitty. I'm giving you the liberty to move on, to throw a responsibility that you think it's yours, but it's not. You're not responsible for me," Rose answered.

"If that is what you whish… OK"

The walk back to the hospital was melancholic and silent. Cal knew he was making a mistake, he knew the minute he arrived to his father's he'll regret it. Rose knew that she was risking the relationship of the only person she remembered to keep a promise she did to a man she knew nothing about. They arrived and Cal said goodbye with an indifferent kiss on her left cheek.

"Goodbye Cal" she said knowing he didn't listen.

"Honey, the doctor wants to talk to you and with Mr. Hockley" said the nurse.

"Mr. Hockley won't come to visit anymore" said Rose walking to her hospital room, the room that became her house for the last days and the room she was going to leave soon. The nurse nodded and walked away.

Few minutes later the doctor came inside and walked towards her.

"Mrs. Dawson"

"Yes?"

"You are discharged, in two days you're going to be able to go" he said.

"But I haven't… I don't remember anything yet. You're going to throw me away?" Rose asked panicked.

"I'm sorry Rose, this is a hospital, we don't have enough money to keep you here. You are healthy, you can leave this hospital" said the doctor feeling gilty but ignoring the feeling a few seconds later.

"I'm alone, where am I going to go?" asked Rose fightened.

"I don't know miss, but I wish you the best of luck" said the doctor leaving the room.

Rose started to cry, this had to happened the same day she told Cal to leave. She started to shake while she cried even harder.

"Please Jack help me" she said out loud.

Then, it hit her, a flashback. She was in an apartment, a very small apartment, she walked to the table took the keys and looked back to the bedroom. I need to do the laundry, she thought, and there she saw a drawing on top of the bed. OK, I'm already late, she thought so she walked out of the apartment quickly.

"God, oh my God" she said covering her mouth.

"What's wrong honey?" asked the nurse.

"There was a drawing on top of my bed, he was a painter… The drawing could be his, right? It makes sense," she asked smiling.

The nurse, who didn't understand what was happening, just nodded.

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"It means that he might still be alive!"


End file.
